I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
