Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
