This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
