Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
