I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
