he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
