Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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