I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased