Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  Your vagain smells worse when im sober.

  (903): View more from Texas

  sorry, worng number

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  (903): Your vagain smells worse when im sober. (903): sorry, worng number http://tfl.nu/xznv
  Replies (20) Good night (875) Bad night (4240)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.

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  (224): someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming. http://tfl.nu/chjo
  Replies (5) Good night (3396) Bad night (977)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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  (203): apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him http://tfl.nu/3qi4
  Replies (9) Good night (1111) Bad night (3953)
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  (818): View more from California

  I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.

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  (818): I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself. http://tfl.nu/m9u0
  Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (1066)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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  (608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud
  Replies (1) Good night (1994) Bad night (713)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

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  (641): My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days. http://tfl.nu/soru
  Replies (9) Good night (3015) Bad night (819)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time

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  (973): "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time http://tfl.nu/xrvp
  Replies (12) Good night (2948) Bad night (837)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no

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  (720): You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no http://tfl.nu/o8fg
  Replies (3) Good night (2461) Bad night (690)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass

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  (859): and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass http://tfl.nu/9tah
  Replies (3) Good night (1200) Bad night (545)
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  (310): View more from California

  If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay

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  (310): If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay http://tfl.nu/sayw
  Replies (10) Good night (1509) Bad night (715)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?

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  (586): Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon? http://tfl.nu/3p6a
  Replies (2) Good night (2438) Bad night (484)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in

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  (484): he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in http://tfl.nu/1zjs
  Replies (2) Good night (600) Bad night (382)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.

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  (765): I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it. http://tfl.nu/bmis
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (407)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete

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  (970): This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete http://tfl.nu/utyk
  Replies (4) Good night (357) Bad night (667)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.

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  (410): I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted. http://tfl.nu/jfss
  Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (388)

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