the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.