He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.