Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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