just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize