Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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