Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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