dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
