the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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