Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
