I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just googled if crying burns calories
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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