Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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