He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
