Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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