remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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