you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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