Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize