So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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