Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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