Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize