Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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