im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
