this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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