Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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