I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
