they need to just BURY HIM!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
