And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
