I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
