he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
