i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
