Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
