Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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