How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
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after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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