This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
