my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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