Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
