I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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