Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
