Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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