Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
