god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
