He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
