Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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