so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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