I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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