i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
