If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
only if we run a train.
done.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
