Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
