Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
