Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
