I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
PANTIES FOUND
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