and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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