so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
